So, Your Workplace Became a High School Cafeteria? A Millennial’s Guide to Beating Down Bullies
Ugh. You got the memo. Not the official one about that TPS report (because who even uses paper anymore?), but the one scrawled in passive-aggressive font across your forehead: You’re being bullied.
Look, we all know adulting is a crock sometimes. But this? This high school throw-back ain’t part of the job description. Except, guess what? Unlike detention, you have options. Here’s how this millennial handles mean girls (or guys) with a side of office supplies:
- Document. Don’t Die Inside. Every snide remark? Every passive-aggressive email? Screenshot that sucker like your life depends on it. This ain’t your diary, Brenda from Accounting. This is your war chest.
- Befriend the Weirdos. Seriously. Remember that goth chick who ate lunch alone in high school? Turns out, she’s probably the office IT whiz who can ghost-write an email that’ll make Michael from Marketing spontaneously combust. Embrace the outcasts, because misery loves company, and evidence is power. (Just make sure to check that ol’ employee manual. Some ways of gathering evidence–like recording a meeting–may not be allowed and will just make you look like the chump, not your bully.)
- Fight Fire with Fire (Metaphorically). No, don’t lob staplers or unleash the office gossip monster you have lurking within. But do outshine them. Crush that project. Become the Beyonce of your department. Make them so jealous, they spontaneously combust (metaphorically, this time).
- Name and Shame (Strategically). Walk into HR with receipts (metaphorical and literal) in hand. Don’t whine about “feelings.” Talk about impact on productivity, a hostile work environment, and potential lawsuits (because let’s be real, everyone loves a good lawsuit).
- Quit Like a Boss. If all else fails, bounce. Life’s too short to be Cheryl to your own Regina George. The world needs your talent (and frankly, your sanity) elsewhere. There are plenty of workplaces that value actual human decency.
Remember, you’re not stuck in this social nightmare. Fight back, millennial style. Because the only thing worse than a workplace bully? Letting them win.
